Idiotwatch

Oxford idiots

2005-05-02T22:53:00.000Z

Finally, a post worthy of Idiotwatch. I'm going to publish it on here too because no one ever reads Idiotwatch, but perhaps that's because we never update it? Highly likely.

It is very rare that I ever agree on anything that is written in the Daily Mail, but today was different. Whilst taking in my daily recommended dosage of BBC Breakfast News, I noticed that the featured headline of the Mail was 'HORROR AT THE BRIDGE OF IDIOTS'. A cracking headline if ever there was one, though sadly the online edition has a different headline.

But who are the idiots? Not, as you may expect from the Mail, Tony Blair and his cronies (ho-ho!), but the elite intelligentsia of Britain; namely the students of Oxford University. It seems that every May 1st it is tradition to jump from Magdalen Bridge into the River Cherwell, and it seems that this year was no exception. But herein lies the idiocy: the water was only three feet deep, which resulted in broken legs and ankles for those poor (stupid) people who jumped in first. You'd think that the sight of the first jumpers writhing around in three foot deep water with mangled limbs would be enough to discourage everyone else, but apparently not. A further twelve people jumped in and surprise surprise, they also received severe leg injuries.

People at Oxford are supposed to be smart. I would expect this sort of behaviour from students from the University of Derby, or people who wanted to commit suicide, but not from Oxford.

I fully expect the Daily Mail to resume its usual diet of lies, sentimental drivel, complaining about a decline in morality, or stirring up a hatred of foreigners tomorrow, so go to Mailwatch instead.

2005-03-23T02:24:00.000Z

wedding horse

Notice For The Impatient

2005-01-17T21:26:00.000Z

Because it's aimed at the future, when the three of us live together or at least in the same city. Until then it exists primarily for anticipation. So calm down.

Lord Absurd the Third

2004-12-16T22:59:00.000Z

All good things come to a beginning.

IDIOT NOMINATIONS

2004-12-16T13:46:00.000Z

I would like to nominate Sven as he smells. I would also like to nominate Jonny as he doesn't like 80's metal. Neither of these guys contribute to this blog. Although my contributions are actually 'cack' at least I try. Perhaps this should be called Idiot ignore not idiot watch.......

2004-11-22T21:02:00.000Z

This is Ronnie James Dio, he's not really an idiot (in my opinion) but I'm sure he is to some of you. The best song he sings is 'Rainbow in the Dark' which features a great keyboard intro and some awesomely high singing!

Idyert Number n: The Northern Hemisphere

2004-11-12T18:52:00.000Z

Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnngh!

2004-11-07T20:36:00.000Z

Good ol' Dave, I love him, you love him, we all love him. He does suck though.

2004-11-07T19:52:00.000Z

This is a fine addition to idiotwatch, for more humorous and embarassingly stupid fundamentalist propoganda, visit this link:

http://www.chick.com/

2004-10-29T23:07:00.000Z

yes I am idiot number 3, no particular reason, I just like being an idiont. I was an idiot to cut my hair off

Idiot Number Two

2004-10-29T20:02:00.000Z

Just look at him.

Idiot Number One

2004-10-29T01:08:00.000Z

This very special award goes to the deputy manager of the restaurant where I work. His name is Jake, and he is actually quite a decent guy, but then this happened:

(Sven's phone rings)

Sven: Hello?
Jake: Hi Steve mate. Y'alright?
Sven: Not too bad ta. What can I do for you?
Jake: Are you free to work next week?
Sven: No.
Jake: What about Wednesday?
Sven: No, I'm not here.
Jake: Could you just manage a small day shift for me? Please?
Sven: No, I won't be here all next week. I'm away.

Pause

Jake: Can I put you down to work 12 til 5 on Wednesday anyway?

This requires no further explanation.

2004-10-23T15:10:00.000Z

Hi, this is me. Chickens - In Tesco, rotisserie - Why is it, after eating a whole one you always feel like they aren't that nice?

Hello

2004-10-23T14:53:00.000Z

me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me

I'm here now, I have joined and I am responsible for all surreal comments.

Fish..

What To Listen To and What To Read

2004-10-23T14:36:00.000Z

Listen to these:

Lou Reed, Metal Machine Music
Edgar Froese, Aqua
cLOUDDEAD, Ten
Goldfrapp, Felt Mountain
Morrissey, You Are The Quarry
Tangerine Dream, Rubycon

Read these:

Paul Watkins, The Fellowship of Ghosts
Anonymous, The Cloud of Unknowing
Bertrand Russell, In Praise of Idleness
Tristan Tzara, Franz Jung, George Grosz, Marcel Janco, Richard Hulsenbeck, Gehard Preiss, Raoul Hausmann and others, Dadaistic Manifesto!
John D. Barrow, The Book of Nothing

If you take all these things into your life, you will thereby become a better person.

Welcome to idiotwatch...

2004-10-20T21:44:00.000Z

From the people that brought you The Opinion, World of Sven and Pete's Life, comes Idiotwatch. A full-colour feature length blog that documents the lives and opinions of three of the finest young minds in South Manchester and St Andrews.

"Utterly breathtaking...splendid" World Blog Review

"I am fat. Give me all your crisps and coke." National Fattist Digest (here)

"A potential magnum opus...the cut and thrust of a mid-period Paul Gauguin" Pointless Critic

Idiotwatch may contain the following:

LANGUAGE: not Welsh

NUDITY: rare, non-mingerial

VIOLENCE: graphic allusions, Rambo-esque

OTHER: Humour, opinions, subterfuge, uberfuge and mid-terfuge